The feeling of loss that comes with losing a child to abortion never goes away. The loss of that child’s presence in this life can never be reversed. There are some things however that can help a father overcome the guilt, shame, despair, and hopelessness that can accompany the reality.
First, a father of an aborted child needs to realize he has indeed suffered a loss. Culture’s justification concerning the validity of abortion cannot erase the loss. This justification can delay a person from dealing with the loss and it can keep a person from looking at the loss, but it cannot remove the loss. A father has to recognize that deep in his soul, his divinely-created response to our God-shaped reality will keep pressing him with the fact he has suffered a loss. The first step in healing is acknowledging the loss.
Secondly, he can bring the loss to Jesus and ask for healing. Healing can take many forms. It can package itself in forgiveness, i.e., receiving God’s forgiveness and forgiving others. It can package itself in releasing the child to the Lord knowing that He will keep the child alive and safe with Him. It also can be packaged in making amends to the mother of the baby, if possible, and to other mothers who are struggling in the midst of unplanned pregnancies.
Supporting maternity homes which minister to women in these situations is a good way of living out of a redeemed nature. This action can help a father walk in his divinely created character by using his energies to support and preserve life. Healing can also be packaged in providing assistance to post-abortion healing programs which minister to people who have been trapped in the lie of abortion. Adopting a child is another excellent way of living out of our redeemed nature.
All of these redemptive responses can bring a father of an aborted child to a place of greater peace and rest. I know because I’ve lived it.