{"id":619,"date":"2017-06-06T14:13:14","date_gmt":"2017-06-06T14:13:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/menandabortion.net\/?p=619"},"modified":"2017-06-06T14:49:02","modified_gmt":"2017-06-06T14:49:02","slug":"piecing-together-pain-loss-men-abortion","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/menandabortion.net\/index.php\/2017\/06\/06\/piecing-together-pain-loss-men-abortion\/","title":{"rendered":"Piecing together the pain of loss for men after abortion"},"content":{"rendered":"

The Daily Telegraph<\/strong> — There are some times in life when you don\u2019t join the dots until you have a conversation that\u2019s like switching on a series of light bulbs.
\nThis week, I had one of those. I put down the phone absolutely stunned.
\nWe know male suicide rates are soaring.
\nDid you know male suicides and abortion-related mental illness are interrelated? Neither did I. It\u2019s poorly understood by professionals, too.
\n\u201cMost suicide counselors aren\u2019t trained to identify abortion trauma,\u201d Julie Cook, national director of Abortion Grief Australia (AGA) tells me.
\n\u201cIn fact, the vast majority aren\u2019t even aware that it can be an issue for men. Most women have no concept that abortion can hurt men.
\n\u201cIrrespective of the role the male played in the abortion, women often feel abandoned and, on an emotional level, blame the male for the abortion outcome.\u201d
\nResearch suggests that men can experience grief and emotional distress in relation to abortion. That makes sense, they\u2019re human beings too.
\nIn 2011, an Australian researcher, Dr Kaeleen Dingle from the University of Queensland, presented a study at the World Congress of Asian Psychiatry in Melbourne showing the connection between young men and depression.
\nShe found young men whose partners aborted were twice as likely to use substances and suffer depression compared with men who had not had that experience.
\n\u201cMale suicides can be both directly and indirectly related to abortion,\u201d Cook says.
\n\u201cOne of the biggest predictors of male suicide is relationship breakdown. Unless work is done towards resolution, abortion trauma often destroys relationships.\u201d
\nShe adds that unresolved trauma is a frequent causal factor in domestic violence. Why is no one talking about this?
\nOne of the biggest predictors of male suicide is relationship breakdown. Unless work is done towards resolution, abortion trauma often destroys relationships
\nIn 2016, AGA received a government Mental Health Grant to raise awareness in this area. As with many areas of mental health, awareness is the beginning of the domino effect that leads to getting vital help.
\n\u201cA woman called recently crying hysterically. It would have been her wedding day, she was inconsolable,\u201d says Cook. \u201cHer fiance had taken his life a few weeks before. She had been pregnant and thought it was too soon to add a baby to their relationship, so went for an abortion and didn\u2019t say a word.
\n\u201cWhen he found out he was overcome with grief and took his life. It\u2019s not uncommon. This is something we must recognize and discuss more openly as a society.\u201d
\nShe tells me this is affecting men of all ages. Yes, even teenagers.
\nThe stories are countless and make my blood run cold. This is a heartbreaking ocean of pain I had no idea existed. As a woman, I wonder if I have only ever thought of abortion from one side of the fence?
\n\u201cYou wouldn\u2019t be alone if that\u2019s the case,\u201d says Cook. One counselor was contacted by police regarding a 16-year-old boy. They saved him from suicide \u201cby two seconds\u201d.
\nMy heart pounds in my chest as I hear his story.
\n\u201cHe had been doing well at school but following his girlfriend\u2019s abortion and their subsequent breakup, his grades fell. He dropped out of school and became homeless. Sadly, he also told the counselor of a friend\u2019s suicide because of abortion too,\u201d Cook said.
\nOf course, this isn\u2019t a blame game. And, of course, this has nothing to do with pointing a finger at women who, rightly, have control over their bodies.
\nAs with all this murky reality that lies between fierce feminist absolutism and a tiny island of compassion for men, the crux is understanding.
\nIf we start having this conversation, awareness will be raised. More light bulbs will be turned on in time.
\nThe 16-year-old is back living at home, is on track with a further education course and doing well. Why? Because the counselor was trained and understood.
\nAcknowledging male pain, despair and grief is the first vital step towards reuniting the sexes and joining hands across this hideous blazing gender war.
\nWe are all in this together. We must find compassion for men and boys too.
\nFor more information and support visit www.abortiongrief.asn.au<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The Daily Telegraph — There are some times in life when you don\u2019t join the dots until you have a conversation that\u2019s like switching on a series of light bulbs. This week, I had one of those. I put down the phone absolutely stunned. We know male suicide rates are soaring. Did you know male<\/p>\n

Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":23,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-619","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-articles"],"yoast_head":"\nPiecing together the pain of loss for men after abortion - Men and Abortion<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/menandabortion.net\/index.php\/2017\/06\/06\/piecing-together-pain-loss-men-abortion\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Piecing together the pain of loss for men after abortion - Men and Abortion\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"The Daily Telegraph — There are some times in life when you don\u2019t join the dots until you have a conversation that\u2019s like switching on a series of light bulbs. 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