{"id":189,"date":"2008-02-01T20:31:05","date_gmt":"2008-02-01T20:31:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/menandabortion.net\/?p=189"},"modified":"2015-10-01T14:55:40","modified_gmt":"2015-10-01T14:55:40","slug":"grieving-my-aborted-daughter","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/menandabortion.net\/index.php\/2008\/02\/01\/grieving-my-aborted-daughter\/","title":{"rendered":"Grieving My Aborted Daughter"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Scott<\/a>Grieving the daughter whose life was taken at a Planned Parenthood Abortion Clinic has been an experience that was met with several obstacles. When I was finally able to process the grief, I was able to move to a more fulfilling and wholesome life. I would like to share some of the things that hindered that movement into healing.<\/p>\n

First of all, I had to process my own guilt. In a careless sexual encounter, my girlfriend became impregnated and the mother of my first child. That was one layer of guilt I carried which I needed to be forgiven for, i.e. sexual activity outside of marriage.<\/p>\n

Concurring guilt was my capitulation to her desire to have an abortion. The guilt was there because I was more interested in pleasing her, who I was in relationship with, than I was in bearing responsibility for both her and the child I had helped to create. The child had no external voice, so I could agree to end its life with little concern for any outward consequences, not realizing that its internal voice in my conscience would never cease to speak.<\/p>\n

The guilt was also there because I knew the abortion would save me from facing my mother and my associates with the truth that I had gotten a woman pregnant outside of marriage. I had capitulated to avoid facing the fear of possible condemnation, only to add an even deeper fear of being found out for this cover-up. This shame is still with me to a certain degree today.<\/p>\n

Once having moved forward in regards to the guilt, I had to enter the grieving process. Denial was still operating at some level because even while I knew intuitively I had agreed to end the child’s life, I tried to justify this decision with thoughts like ‘it wasn’t really human yet’ and ‘it was for the better’. Eventually that denial was broken when I acknowledged my inner truth regarding the child’s reality and when I accepted the fact that I had just avoided a responsibility \u2013 which I had no moral right to ignore \u2013 without having to face the pangs of conscience.<\/p>\n

After moving through the denial, I got stuck in anger for quite a while. I blamed everyone for my ending up in the position I did, i.e., powerless to defend my child. I blamed people, culture and myself. I had to work through some forgiveness issues to move into the next stage of bargaining.<\/p>\n

Bargaining was occurring quite a bit throughout the whole grieving process. In fact I believe that grieving experience is spiral in nature. We can move in and out of the stages at various times. I tried to bargain by becoming super religious. If I totally devoted myself to God, I reasoned, somehow this pain, hurt and loss would go away. It was a better direction than the alcoholism I tried first, but even that had to be loosened so I could move into the next stage of depression.<\/p>\n

The depression stage yielded its head at certain times of the year. One day I was able to make the connection through the power of the Holy Spirit that on March 1 was always depressed because that was when my daughter would have been born if she had been allowed to come to full term. I was experiencing separation grief every March as I intuitively remembered that was the time of year she would have been born. When I made that connection, I was able to move into acceptance and yield my daughter to the Lord.<\/p>\n

Acceptance of my daughter\u2019s presence in God’s presence gives me relief that God has limited our powers of destruction on earth. While I was able to be a part of my daughter\u2019s death through an immature, dumb decision, I was not powerful enough to end her life spiritually. She is with God and one day we will be together. I am thankful FOR THAT AND LIVE WITH THE JOYFUL EXPECTATION OF REUNITING WITH HER AGAIN.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Grieving the daughter whose life was taken at a Planned Parenthood Abortion Clinic has been an experience that was met with several obstacles. When I was finally able to process the grief, I was able to move to a more fulfilling and wholesome life. I would like to share some of the things that hindered<\/p>\n

Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-189","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-articles"],"yoast_head":"\nGrieving My Aborted Daughter - Men and Abortion<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/menandabortion.net\/index.php\/2008\/02\/01\/grieving-my-aborted-daughter\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Grieving My Aborted Daughter - Men and Abortion\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Grieving the daughter whose life was taken at a Planned Parenthood Abortion Clinic has been an experience that was met with several obstacles. 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